Is St. Patrick’s Day secretly the second scariest holiday on the calendar? These five green-clad faerie-folk seem to think so. . . .
Sometimes stuff just isn’t enough. Sometimes stuff must be stuffed into stuff.
Stuffing unlikely stuff into other stuff was first popularized during the Middle Ages. For example, Dante tidily tucked away the nine circles of Hell into themselves in the author’s supergoth INFERNO.
In medieval kitchens, cooks stuffed smaller birds into bigger birds. They roasted the bloated results and served them to the rich and the gluttonous.
(Vegetarians, take heart. It could be worse. At least the birds were not alive while stuffed! Unfortunate viewers of THE HUMAN CENTIPEDE know the terrifying possibilities. No link to the movie’s website will be provided here because people unaware of this sick movie are to be envied.)
The point of this discussion, before we so gruesomely digressed: Stuff your face with these holiday classics stuffed into holiday classics.
“YEEK!” OR “YUMMY”? You decide.
HORRIFIC HOLIDAY MENU
WHAT IS IT? Sheep’s stomach stuffed with other sheeply pieces
Great artists can create great art on almost any canvas. Consider Renaissance masterpieces such as Michaelangelo’s Sistine Chapel ceiling, or modern-day “wearable art” such as Alexander McQueen’s lobster-claw, stiletto-heel shoes.
Now, add pumpkin flesh to the list of unlikely canvases, thanks to scary sculptor Ray Villafane. Try smashing these pumpkins and they’ll smash you back!
Mr. Villafane even offers a tutorial for those who are feeling insanely ambitious, or merely insane. In truth, it’s slightly reminiscent of those frustrating, step-by-step HOW TO DRAW books that present a circle as Step 1, a shaded circle as Step 2, and, all of the sudden, a highly detailed, impossible-to-draw human face as the final step.
A new discovery in Madagascar: Stretching as wide as 82 feet, the web of the Darwin’s bark spider is not only the biggest web in the world, it’s also the strongest.
Witness the extremely icky pics if you feel you must.
Congratulations, Darwin’s bark spider of Madagascar. You are scary. Point taken.
‘Tis better to try and fail than to never try at all. On a related note, ’tis better to laugh at these epic fails than to flee screaming in fear. Courtesy of the endlessly entertaining FAILBLOG.
#5 UFO FAIL
#4 VAMPIRE FAIL (or VAMPIRE PREVENTION WIN, technically speaking)