JORDAN B writes via email:
Dear Mr. Gee: I can not find the answers to “The Chief Is Missing” on your website because i MUST know. . . .
Thank you for fearing and enjoying ENCYCLOPEDIA HORRIFICA! Lots of clues to the dollhouse murder mystery (page 128) are located in the READER’S GUIDE and on YOUTUBE.
Also, be sure to scan the tiny journal pages inside the front and back cover of the hardcover edition. Rest assured, it was all a horrific hoax in the name of science, and my next ghastly book will prove that I am un-deader than ever!
How could you possibly improve it?
New and improved?… Sounds fun ^-^
The July 26 comment above was not, in fact, posted by the real Joshua Gee. Meanwhile, the real Joshua Gee (ie me), incidentally, will be installing a new feature that clearly indicates when I am me in the Comments beneath each article. Stay tuned in August for a formal announcement regarding the new & improved blog.
I think any normal person would be freaked out if you did that, DJ… O_O
Alex, would you be freaked out if I decided to create a shrine to you?
Nice work, Sherlock.
That’s good deductive reasoning there. Thought a while on it?
Well, that was a long comment. Nice work kid, you figured it out! You even said some factors that even I could not come up with. I’m very impressed. How would you like to come and work for us?
It was most likely a vampire. However, Joshua Gee didn’t kill it. The wooden stake That was found on the desk only has a SMALL amount of blood on it. The stake only grazed the vampire, but didn’t kill it. On page 138, there are two holes in Joshua Gee’s name tag, indicating bite marks. Joshua probably grabbed the white thorn and tried to stab the vampire with it in self-defense. The reason the vampire went for the chest is because when he tried to sneak up on Mr. Gee, but failed and, in the struggle, the chair toppled over with Gee in it, and the vampire took a wild bite at him, and bit Gee’s chest. The reason that they can’t be bullet-holes is because they are 1) Too small, 2) they curve inward instead of being perfectly round, 3) the holes aren’t charred at all, like bullet holes through plastic usually are. Plus, there’s a curved dent connecting the two holes, showing that there were teeth there. The bite may have caused Gee to either pass out from blood loss or the shock and force of the bite could have knocked him unconscious. The vampire probably sensed Mr. Grutty coming to Mr. Gee’s aid, and fled the scene, leaving Gee as a part-vampire, because the bite was not done properly. That would explain how Gee didn’t have a pulse, and how Gee could’ve gotten up and left the room. Or, the vampire could’ve been wounded too badly to feast on Mr. Gee’s blood. Of course, there’s always the possibility that it could have sucked some of it up and fled afterwards. But it would’ve taken too long to suck it all up. As for the green slime, it could have easily been a combination of shadows and reflection from the MP3 lying right where the green part of the “slime” begins. I admit, however, there is a flaw in my theory. If the vampire was wounded, why is there no blood on the floor. This, I cannot explain. As for the idea that Mr. Gee killed the vampire, it’s preposterous. Either there would be a second body nearby, or a pile of ash that would’ve been the remains of the vampire. Also, the isolated blob of “slime” is easily explained again with light reflection. In the corner of the room there is a green locker, where light can reflect onto a certain spot. Oh, I just noticed something! There ARE blood splatters on the floor! They’re just really small. All of them AROUND the area where Gee’s body was found, none in the tracing. The small blood drops move to where Gee’s body was found, and some more away from it. Gee either was now a vampire, or he was never dead. There are three possibilities that prove this. 1) The heart has been known to restart if it stops. 2) The blood loss could have slowed down the pulse enough that when Mr. Grutty checked Gee’s pulse, he could have easily not detected it. 3) There is a talent that can be learned with years of practice that causes the heart to stop and make you stop breathing. The longest this can be done is five minutes. I need Joshua Gee and Mr. Grutty to confirm my theories, and I would appreciate it if they reply as soon as possible. Thank you. If anyone else finds other flaws in my theories, please point them out and I will explain how they aren’t flaws or I will fix the flaw. Best of luck to everyone who is still trying to solve the mystery!
You then press ‘people posing as me’ and it take you here. Point proven!
If you look under http://www.fearseeker.net/2011/04/mailbag-spirited-impostors-and-we-need-some-more-horrific-stuff/
it takes you here. The Joshua Gee saying it was Bloody Mary, just a few comments before this one, was not really him.