MAILBAG

MAILBAG: “I cannot find the answers to ‘The Chief Is Missing’…”

JORDAN B writes via email:

Dear Mr. Gee: I can not find the answers to “The Chief Is Missing” on your website because i MUST know. . . .

Thank you for fearing and enjoying ENCYCLOPEDIA HORRIFICA! Lots of clues to the dollhouse murder mystery (page 128) are located in the READER’S GUIDE and on YOUTUBE.

Also, be sure to scan the tiny journal pages inside the front and back cover of the hardcover edition. Rest assured, it was all a horrific hoax in the name of science, and my next ghastly book will prove that I am un-deader than ever!

13-05-2009 8:00 pm by Joshua Gee

COMMENTS (92)

92 Responses to “MAILBAG: “I cannot find the answers to ‘The Chief Is Missing’…””

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  1. Bell Witch, On September 25th, 2011 at 2:11 pm Said:

    I think i like him better as a vampire

  2. Creeps lover, On August 9th, 2011 at 10:27 pm Said:

    It was on an episode called wishful thinking. This guy who wants a hot chick for a girlfriend puts a Babylonian wishing coin into a wishing well at a Chinese restaurant, which makes everybody wishes come true. The five year old girl made a wish fir her teddy bear to come to life, so it does. It steals beer and porn magazines from a nearby gas station, then sits in the girls bedroom watching horrible accidents on the news.
    “This world is terrible! WHY AM I HERE!?”
    “For tea parties!”
    “IS THAT ALL THERE IS!?”
    So Sam and dean send the girl to her neighbors house and the teddy bear like tries to blow its brains out and everything. At the end when Sam and dean solved the problem, the teddy bear still had this gigantic hole in the back of its head, with ribbon taped over the stuffing popping out of it. It was hilarious.

  3. India, On August 8th, 2011 at 3:00 pm Said:

    How would a teddy bear die? O.o that is weird.

  4. Johnny Miao, On August 6th, 2011 at 10:04 am Said:

    Vampires are awesome

  5. Creeps lover, On August 2nd, 2011 at 10:20 pm Said:

    I think I’ve just watched one of the most awkward TV show episode ever. Supernatural is weird, but a suicidal freaking teddy bear? What the hell…

  6. Xavier, On August 2nd, 2011 at 6:58 pm Said:

    I’m a bit tired, so I can’t get shit like fast, so balls.

  7. Milo Caulfield, On August 2nd, 2011 at 6:43 pm Said:

    I hope you’re being sarcastic.
    Security camera=off
    Dante=dead
    His killer will never be caught, most likely.

  8. Xavier, On August 2nd, 2011 at 6:26 pm Said:

    … Randal turning off the security camera…

    Don’t get it.

  9. Milo Caulfield, On August 2nd, 2011 at 2:53 pm Said:

    Also, in the extended cut on my 10th Anniversary DVD, in addition to all the music being by Love Among Freaks and Dante being shot, there’s a scene near the beginning where Randal turns off the security cameras. Think about it.

  10. Xavier, On August 1st, 2011 at 11:01 pm Said:

    Seriously, his speech at the end was just amazing. I read how the alternate ending as Dante being shot and his corpse lays on the counter and the robber takes all the money and shit. As someone once said, that ending is the great 20th century tragedy novel that was never written. And I agree.

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